You may never read this, and even if you don’t, that’s okay cause I just wanted to get this out.
Ever since we started talking, I’ve become used to wanting to talk to you. Without realizing it, I’ve looked forward to hearing from you.
When you told me you weren’t sure of how you felt towards me, oddly enough I was still hopeful for a change of heart. Usually giving up was the option I’d take if a person isn’t sure whether they have feelings for me or not, but not with you. Your genuine heart and honest answers definitely caught a hold of me haha.
When we were on the phone the other day, there was something I wanted to tell you but I didn’t. Thing is, while being aware of the fact that I’m younger than you and still in high school, it was bound I hesitated, but if only you could see me now, cause I ended up still falling for you.
Relationships are fun and exciting, but that isn’t all I’m looking for. It’s commitment and something worth being the wait. Not just infatuation for 6 months and calling it over, but rather finding an understanding partner that’ll grow with you. You have no idea how much I wished to be older, because maybe then it’d be easier for you to see. Hoping you’ll see it’s not just a childish game I’m playing with relationships, unconsciously waiting became my answer.
Telling you “I understand how you feel because I went through that with my last boyfriend” sounded childish, and talking back to the past that left me in tears then was pointless, cause I’m rather happy liking you.
Maybe I need to understand where you’re coming from more, because bothering you especially with how I feel is never my intention.
There were many times I’ve wanted to tell you these feelings, but it felt selfish of me if I ever did, because you’re going through your own thoughts.
At the time when I began to distrust guys and give up, somehow God crossed our paths and I met you, and because of our meeting and conversations, I didn’t give up. So I’m hoping you won’t either.
In the chances you do and it doesn’t work out, that’s okay too. At least it was a shot you know?
Well…you may never read this, so these thoughts could go down the drain, but here’s the complete truth.
Each time the clock strikes midnight, one day becomes history and a new one begins. We can’t go back, and we can’t jump ahead. If you are like me, you see everyday as a chance to be all you can be for Jesus, and to experience His abundant life. I don’t want to miss out on one thing about today, but sometimes the enemy can steal my joy in the present by getting me to regret the past or worry about the future.
Have you noticed that Satan tries to ruin our day by bringing up negative things that have happened in the past? He wants us to remember every hurt, every offense, every injustice and every mistake, but the fact is, what’s happened has happened. You can’t go back, and neither can I. But we can make sure that the past doesn’t ruin our day.
Satan also tries to steal our joy, peace and contentment by tempting us to worry about the future, fearing what hasn’t happened yet. His is the voice that whispers, “What if I lose my job? What if I can’t pay my bills? What if my child doesn’t come back to God? What if the doctor’s report is bad or my marriage can’t be restored?” Trust me; the enemy will try to ruin your today by causing you to worry about tomorrow. Don’t let him do it.
It’s time to let go.